" I close my eyes and think that i have found me but then I feel mortality surround I want to sing another melody so different from the one i always sing." - Regina Spektor, the Music box
The last couple of days have left me humming this song. I had a fantastic evening with my lovely call center friends on Thursday at the Pitchfork Steak Fondue and the Medora Musical. I figure with the number of tickets we have sold to both of those, it might be a good idea for us to actually go experience what we talk about for eight hours a day, five days a week. So many people came out on one of the most lovely nights we have had so far in Medora. The food was great, the show was fantastic, but the company was the best part.
Last night Erica and I were in a car accident. We must have had an incurable desire to side swipe an exit sign going around 70 mph because that is what we did. After talking with the sheriff today, it seems that sign possibly saved our lives because it kept the car from rolling. We got the royal treatment, rescue unit tried to cut me out, but the poor little Hyundai had no intentions of letting me out, so I got pulled out the back on a stretcher by some fantastic police officers and EMTs, they took such good care of me. Poor Erica was ready to lose it, but I am thinking God held her together, he was certainly the glue that kept me together. The side air bag saved my head and the seat belt saved the rest of me. The car is totaled, but after some x-rays, it seems that Erica and I escaped with nothing more than a couple tiny scratches and some achy spots. Our story would be a bit more believable if we had some serious contusions or something, but I would rather be doubted than be permanently damaged any day. We took the day off to recuperate, but we should be back in the full swing of things tomorrow. I have to say I did get pretty freaked out by the whole thing, but having a couple of the guys I work with coming out to the hospital to be with me and Erica made me feel very loved and all the hugs and visits (did I mention the hugs?) from all the lovely people I work with after we got back into town made my heart sing and my eyes leak (since I don't cry O.o).
Oddly the part of this whole thing that reminded me of my mortality (song reference) was not the accident, it was the sunset tonight. Seeing a gazillion delicate shades of orange and pink and blue dance across the sky and peak through the hills of the badlands reminded me that while every breath aches a little right now and if you poked me, I would bawl, it is all absolutely worth it! I want to feel all of life, the sore parts, the scary parts, the lonely parts right along with the parts that remind me that I am loved and cared for. Thanks sunset for that little reminder of just how beautiful everything is, even if it fades into darkness at the end of the day.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
The last few days bring to mind the song from the Sound of Music where Maria sings of her favorite things. We have ponies that stroll the streets (proper horses, but hey), freaking snow that stays on my nose and eyelashes and I could do for a nice bright copper kettle full of tea and a pair of warm woolen mittens but while I wait for those things, I have had plenty of other favorite things and people running around in my mind to keep me company as I fight how badly I miss everyone.
What I mentioned about the snow is no play for making things fit with the song, we did get actual snow accumulation yesterday. The buttes, the cars, the buildings, my face- they were all encrusted with big wet snowflakes. I did some overtime work with housekeeping yesterday (yea, I can make up a proper hotel room now, I feel special, be jealous) and every time we had to walk outside (which was between every room) I made a little yelp and questioned why the wind hates me so much that it insists on beating little bits of water and ice into my skin. The weather was so nasty that we actually cancelled the musical for last night and it looks like we might have to cancel again (hopefully they will make that decision before I get the mile and a half up the hill for work because even in just cold weather, standing at that hill trying to be friendly makes me want to weep, I cannot imagine it in the snow).
In spite of the miserable weather, I did get quite a bit done yesterday. I went to the National Parks office and got the key we need for our in park ministry. The government now owns me. I signed a stack of different papers and permits and every two weeks I have to go back and sign more. So while they own my soul, I do have a pretty wicked sweet key that says it is property of the US government, I feel pretty intense :D
Oh, we had our first church service today!!!!! I have spent a lot of stomach turning hours in prayer for our ministry out here this summer and this initial service in particular. Erica delivered the message, a clear message of learning to accept that God loves us in a gentle and personal way, my heart was singing for her. Some of the Campus Crusade members joined us and exponentially increased the quality of our music. I pity poor Keith for being stuck out in North Dakota with two girls with as little musical inclination as me and Erica, so it is pretty awesome that we have so much support out here. AND the campus crusaders are pretty wicked awesome people and I definitely hope to add a few new friends as I get to know some of them better too. I may even take my guitar to worship practice and embarrass myself a little bit this next week. I figure my mad lack of guitar skills is a good door opener to force this little introvert to talk to people, or at least that is what I am telling myself.
Work is amazing as per usual. I think I am taking a camera into work some time soon, I need to get pictures of these awesome faces I work with. Well, enjoy my scatterbrainedness, I am going to go spend some time being unproductive. I would go out and lay in the sunshine on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but seeing as there is no sunshine with all the rain and snow, I am just going to go be lazy. hehehe.